i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
