Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
