I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
