he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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