I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
