She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think your dad took our porno
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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