U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
