end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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