youre lurking in front of me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
