Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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