How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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