I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
