Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Please don't give away my fajitas
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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