also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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