Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
