That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
