Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
