i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
