You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
