so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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