Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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