I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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