I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
