oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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