New invention idea: vibrating tampons
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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