Acid is not a monday night drug
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Semen is not good for contacts.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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