Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
foreskin is a definite game changer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
