Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
