I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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