just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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