a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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