Did you just see the Batmobile???
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
