she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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