Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
