My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
