Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
