i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
