Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
