lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
