dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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