I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
