those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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