i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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