Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
