Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
