i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
