what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
