p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
