This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
