Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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