You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
