ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
