1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize